You Can’t Love ’em and You Can’t Kill ’em (warning: nudity and gore ahead)

My sister is scanning and organizing her old photos and journals and frequently sends me the gems from our past. We looked so carefree and untouched by any premonition of what lay ahead in life.

Remembering, my sister and I refer to periods in our life by which man had been our partner for that decade. I was married for ten years to the love of my life. His joie de vivre was unlimited. Wine, women, song, there was never enough. I moved on. I’d had enough women!

I brilliantly chose another alcoholic, thinking I could fix this one because he wasn’t a womanizer. I spent another ten years on that fixer-upper. He was clean and sober when I figured out alcohol wasn’t the problem.

I finally chose a man who had a reasonable relationship with both alcohol and women AND could fix things. Thirty years later, I still love him beyond all reason. I mean that literally. He’s the smartest man in any room, rabidly opinionated, egocentric to the point of narcissism, honest to a fault, genuinely egalitarian, kind to animals, patient with children, profligate, introspective, unsentimental but eternally romantic. There are so many times when I wonder how it came to this…

12 thoughts on “You Can’t Love ’em and You Can’t Kill ’em (warning: nudity and gore ahead)

  1. How am I supposed to respond to this? All I can say is my upbringing was far less free and easy than yours. Mom had a fit if boys flipped up our skirts in Catholic elementary school and got a glimpse of our underwear. As for the man mistakes, we all think love will change them. Glad you got a good one and hopefully that last pic is something you’ll discuss with your shrink at your next therapy session.


  2. Sounds like you chose the right man! It took me awhile to settle down but I am glad I waited for my husband as I met plenty of others not quite there. A man who buys me a jean jacket and has a red dragon sews on and everyone says, “that is so cool’ even if they don’t know me…knows me.


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