A Trip to the Spa

I may have mentioned my dentist in previous posts but she really is a remarkable woman and bears a second visit.

When my sister, Babs, first started seeing her, I thought she (my sister) was crazy, that is until she came home with a beautiful new smile. The “Queen of Teeth” had replaced all of her graying, oddly positioned, front teeth with lovely, even, white crowns. Suddenly the thousands of dollars she had shelled out seemed like a reasonable price to pay for such an attractive smile. I quickly made an appointment.

“The Queen” is a little sprite of a woman, barely five feet tall in her platform heels. Spiky blonde hair adds an inch or two but she still has to lower the chair to its lowest limit when she works on upper teeth. Proportionally tiny hands enable her to almost get both hands into my mouth at the same time. This is a very desirable trait in both dentists and gynecologists.

Her office is tastefully appointed, with massaging chairs and the kindest, prettiest support staff imaginable. If one is on time for one’s appointment, there is never a wait. Soothing classical music wafts through the treatment cubicle and there’s a flat-screen TV for the patient’s viewing pleasure. Like flying business class, a “stewardess” offers the patient a variety of liquid refreshment that includes smoothies, coffee drinks, tea, juice, or bottled water. Cozy polar fleece lap blankets are stacked within arm’s reach to ensure your comfort.

I’ve never availed myself of the juice bar but today I heard another patient ask for an iced mocha latte. I had once mentioned that my previous dentist would greet me with a glass of sherry after I confessed to bolting down a shot of tequila in the parking lot to calm my nerves before a root canal. Nobody seemed to jump on that idea; but today, when I mentioned that I’d considered taking one of the leftover Valium tablets she had prescribed for my six-crowns-at-one-time visit, she offered to get one for me from her supply. I admitted that something medicinal to take the edge off sounded fun. Since I was going to work while she made the crown, we agreed that a half of one was probably about right.

What a brilliant idea! I will never go through the tedious process of a crown again without mother’s little helper. Instead of lying there longing for relief from the drilling and sucking and cramped jaw, I nearly napped in utter relaxation. At one point, I vaguely remember she, of the diminutive mitts, inserted her entire hand into my mouth to fit the crown and then invited her assistant to join her by using both of her hands to run the floss between the adjacent teeth while she held the crown in place. I think the stretch marks around my mouth will be temporary.

I’m thinking that woman who ordered the fancy coffee drink would have kicked herself had she learned there were even better options not shown on the menu.

5 thoughts on “A Trip to the Spa

  1. I had a petite female Asian dentist with features and mannerisms similar to those you described… then she moved and sold the practice to a lanky male Asian dentist with ADHD and a propensity to argue that if his way of doing things doesn’t work for you, you are being difficult and need to suck it up. Hell will be the official ice dancing venue before I return to his little shop of horrors. I can’t imagine drinking a cappuccino or smoothie before a root canal… my nervous stomach would probably throw it up. I don’t want a spa experience so much as a fast, painless procedure where I can breathe and don’t end up choking on debris from the drill. 🙂

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    1. I suspect your lanky fellow won’t have a very successful practice. People have become more discriminating in their choice of providers and won’t tolerate and insensitive dentist. My dentist’s husband is a dental equipment salesman so she has all the latest and greatest equipment. This time she had what they called the “ice light”, a flexible, clear rubber dam with a light embedded in it. When inserted, it provides a barrier to catch debris before it goes down the patient’s throat and constant vacuuming action that whisks away unnecessary saliva. It also holds the patient’s mouth open. I was instructed to simply bite down on it if I required more suction. Also, either the Valium distorted time, or she had a remarkably fast, quiet drill. I barely had time to get bored.

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  2. “Mother’s little helper” is indeed a miracle for dentistry. I enjoy the “2 eyeballs floating in space” experience. Made getting a root canal and all 4 wisdom teeth extracted a piece of cake!

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  3. Yeah, I need to have an extraction and an implant and I’m thinking a full dose of Valium may make the experience tolerable. Sleep anesthesia is too expensive for something as brief as an extraction.

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  4. Not only in Amiens we have not style “little good fairy” dentists in Amiens but the number of dentists is decreasing and at this time <i have not any dentist , at all . Needless to say my denture is in decadence . My dentist wince 30years is gone in retirement without nayone want to succed her
    When I read all of the comfot you get at the dentist I am somewhat jealous
    I do not hear of Bab. On xanga I was in touch with her . But she has disappeared for me like the dentists ! 🙂
    Love ❤
    Michel

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