I’m Getting Too Old for This $!@#

I read somewhere that people over the age of sixty fall on average once a year. Clearly, I’m way above average!

I understand that mountain biking is inherently risky and falling is just part of the package. I accept that, but dog walking shouldn’t be a high risk activity. Of course, that’s what I thought about cleaning my neighbor’s chicken run too and that got me cracked ribs. Lest you think me a complete klutz, allow me to explain.

Ever since the girls,working in concert, caught a rabbit,  I’ve been keeping one of them on one of those retractable leashes whenever I’m in an area where rabbits don’t have a 360 degree radius of escape. Once we get out to the river bottom, I can turn them both loose without much danger of them running anything down.

Today, we were walking along the unpaved water district easement where there’s a chain link fence about fifty yards away. Rabbits can get chased up against the fence so I had Sadie on the leash. Mollie stays fairly close to me so she can be loose. I was blithely enjoying the morning sunshine and listening to The Rise and the Fall of the Third Reich on my MP3 player when Sadie spotted something that needed chasing. It was something so exciting that she forgot she was on the leash. My German-made, 26 foot, retractable leash smoothly played out like a fishing pole with a marlin on the line as she sprinted to top speed in 0.24 seconds. My brain shifted from the Third Reich to the ensuing problem at hand perhaps a bit more slowly than optimal and I instinctively braced for the impact that would occur when she hit the 26 foot limit of the leash.

Now, I never took physics in school, but common sense would normally advise one that 65 pounds of German  Shepherd, traveling at a rate of speed of approximately 25 miles per hour, is going to have a rather catastrophic impact on a 120 pound, sixty-four year old woman. But of course, common sense had no say in this story.

I found myself being violently jerked off my feet and being dragged through skin lacerating rocks and gravel before I had the sense to let go of the handle of the leash. To be honest, I’m not sure I voluntarily let go.

I lay face up where I fell, pain radiating from every part of my right side. Being an above average faller, I knew better than to attempt to right myself immediately, even though I was mortally afraid that the heavy equipment operator who was working the spoil pile some 100 yards away might see me and wonder if he should investigate. How mortifying would that be?!

Eventually, I sat up and looked around for my dogs. Mollie was sitting about four feet away, looking deeply concerned. Sadie, leash tangled in brush some thirty feet away, was prevented from coming over to lick my face, fortunately. I regained my feet, blood dripping from my arm, pants torn and bloody, and retrieved my cell phone from my back pocket. It was dirty but undamaged. (Wow, that’s pretty good for a case that cost me $1.00 at the Big Lots store!) I called home, hoping Mike would come and get us but he had already left for a bike ride. There was naught to be done but limp home. Sadie was contrite and walked quietly by my side, never volunteering to take liberties. She seemed to sense that she was doggie non grata. Mollie too, stayed close, nuzzling my hand occasionally to assure herself that she was the good dog.

So, it looks like I’m going to be nursing yet another damaged rib and sticking to the sheets for a few weeks. It kinda sucks since there’s no glory in dog walking wrecks.


7 thoughts on “I’m Getting Too Old for This $!@#

  1. I am sorry about the injuries. Judy, we talked about your dogs’ retardation problems earlier. As soon as you saw them chasing after random cars on the highway, you should have inferred that they are dimwits. It means you never should trust them to do anything reasonable. Always speak to them in a loud disapproving voice, and always repeat yourself.

    I’m attaching an instructive video about dogs and bunnies.


    1. Yes, I know you’re right but sadly the only one more dimwitted than my dog is the blonde trying to deny the laws of physics. The video link you send me was encouraging though. It appears that rabbits are well equipped to fend for themselves. I was also motivated by the one that followed it about women’s exercise classes. I’m thinking of taking up tennis 😉


  2. Sorry to be so late . Judi. I think in your case I would have fallen too . The violent traction was so unexpected . I hope you are no more suffering of your ribbs . My wife Janine fell …In our yard on January 7 in slipping on the ice and still is in Physio therapy until June to recover drom her broken shoulder.
    I thank you for your very interesting comment about your memories of Bavaria and the beer waggon drawn by horses.. I replied on my site.
    Love ❤


  3. OMG, Judy! Good thing you’re an above-average faller… LOL. I was a big fan of retractable leashes until my 90-lb Black Lab went “squirrel” on me and almost tore my shoulder out of its socket. My current dog is a pit mix, male, 65 lbs, and strong. He chewed through the retractable cord while it was locked and I was preoccupied talking to a neighbor–when I pressed the button, the loose end flew into the handle and the dog just stood there looking very pleased with himself. I use a regular 6-foot nylon leash now. 🙂


      1. The neighbor is in her 90’s, mind still sharp, full of history and stories. The leash was hanging slack or I would have felt it. The Pit is a stealth chewer, fast and quiet. He has gnawed through leashes, seatbelts, indestructible toys, even chewed the flip-top off a water bottle in the car–less than a foot from my elbow–without arousing suspicion. His oral fixations were the subject of a prior post: https://justjoan42.wordpress.com/2016/03/06/if-you-are-what-you-eat/


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